In the clinic, discussions around emotional health seem to be quite a complicated matter. Yet, the conversation is of absolute importance, because try as we might, we cannot separate our emotions from our physical health. Furthermore, our emotions serve as our personal GPS to navigate life in such a way that brings us purpose and self-fulfillment.
It may help to simplify the emotional picture with the understanding that all emotions are derived from two primary emotions: love and fear. Emotions such as gratitude, joy, and happiness are extensions of love, while anger, jealousy, and anxiety are extensions of fear.
When we think of love, we often think about it in the context of relationships—whether romantic love, familial love, friendships, or the bonds we share with pets. Studies show that experiencing loving relationships improves cardiovascular health, boosts immune function, speeds healing, and can even lengthen life expectancy. Love’s embrace releases oxytocin, the so-called “love hormone,” which fosters bonding and trust.
You can feel the effects of emotions in your body in real time simply by conjuring them. Try this exercise: close your eyes and think of a love-based emotion, paying attention to your heart rate, breath, and bodily sensations. Then, do the same with a fear-based emotion. You’ll likely notice physiological changes in areas like your chest, stomach, or head—the same areas where chronic symptoms like palpitations, stomach aches, or headaches often appear.
Recognizing the connection between emotions and physical health empowers you to take control of your well-being. By consciously choosing love, you can significantly boost your mental, emotional, and physical health.
If simply choosing love feels too simplistic—or too self-serving—it may help to distinguish between being selfless, selfish, and self-loving. Dr. Paula King, psychologist and life coach, defines them as follows:
- Selfish: Thinking and acting as if only you matter, and others do not.
- Selfless: Thinking and acting as if others matter, but you do not.
- Self-loving: Thinking and acting as if both you and others matter. This involves seeking to know and understand yourself and others, negotiating differences, and collaborating on solutions.
Being self-loving deepens when you pursue joy that aligns with your personal values. The beauty of being human is that each person’s joy is unique. Living intentionally in pursuit of your own joy is a powerful act of self-love—and since love breeds health, you will not only thrive personally but also contribute to the well-being of the world around you.